Thursday, April 22, 2010

Schindler's List: Very Few Laughs

I’m always surprised by the amount of praise film critics have heaped on “Schindler’s List” over the years. I’ve watched the movie three times now in an effort to understand this seemingly universal love for the movie.

And after every viewing I’ve come to the same conclusion: The film just isn’t funny.

Last time through, I counted the laughs: three. And one of them was barely a snicker, so I’m being generous.

Now, I simply can’t consider a film an even passable comedy if it only gets three laughs. What’s that come to, a laugh an hour? Sorry, not guide enough, Mr. Spielberg. “1941” was funnier. I laughed five times during that one.

So why the love? I admit that the cinematography was great. The costumes, too. And the acting was top notch. I do, though, think that Mr. Spielberg could have afforded color throughout the entire film. After all, he certainly made enough money off of “E.T.” (Again, funnier than “Schindler’s List.” I laughed at least six times, though, admittedly, I dozed off for about 45 minutes in the middle, so the laugh count might have been higher had I seen the rest of those 45 minutes.)

We’ve all seen funny Nazis before. Anyone remember “Hogan’s Heroes?” Unfortunately, the Nazis in “Schindler’s List” can’t compare. Ralph Fiennes could learn a lot from John Banner.

Don’t believe the hype. There’s nothing funny about “Schindler’s List.” Not even the musical montage scene.

Roster’s Rating: 1 crow. (For the pie fight.)